We all want to be living the life that we want but many of us don’t know how to make that a reality. We get stuck into thinking life needs to be a certain way because that’s how it’s been for our parents and that’s how it’s being for our friends. It takes guts and courage to break out of the norm, to really go for what you want, especially when it’s not in line with what you think everyone else around you wants.
Yes – you can. You just need to learn how. Here are 7 steps to help get you started:
1. Discover your values
Start by discovering what you truly value in life. You may be surprised. Most people will be quick to say they value money but really look at what exactly would having more money mean to you. What’s the value? Is it security? Comfort? Joy? Break down your wants until you discover the underlying values. This will help you to be more clear when it comes to creating the life you want.
2. Take responsibility for your life
Before you can create the life you want, you need to take responsibility for it. You need to realize and know that how your life is working out is all up to you. Yes, there may be challenges but you also have a choice as to how you handle and react to those challenges. Successful people take full responsibility for their life, for their actions and for their thoughts. And if they can do it, so can you.
3. Get clear about what motivates you
Until you know why you want something and what’s the motivation behind it, creating what you want can be difficult. A great place to start is to look at your life’s purpose. Why are you here? What are you hoping to achieve in this lifetime? And I’m not talking about career oriented stuff, although your life purpose may be wrapped up in that. I’m talking are you here to be love? To help others? To create beauty in the world? Keep it simple. But really get behind your life purpose to discover what motivates you to do anything in this world. Once you know this, the rest becomes so much easier.
4. Decide what you want
This may seem obvious but very few people sit down and decide what they want. Take the time (be it a half hour or a few days) to really decide what you want. Write it down. Be clear and specific. Don’t worry about how you’re going to create it. Let yourself open up to knowing that you can create whatever you want. Let yourself play with ideas. Let yourself be free to dream and discover. Brainstorm. Write down anything and everything that makes your heart sing. This is your time to really get clear about what you want for your life. Don’t hold back!
5. Believe you can have it
This step may not seem all that important but in reality this is the most important step of this whole process. If you don’t believe that you can create the life you want, then you won’t take the steps necessary to make them a reality. Part of believing is being able to visualize it. Visualizing is a powerful tool that tricks your brain into thinking that the thing you want is already here. Once you’re able to visualize it and truly believe that it’s possible, you will automatically start acting in such a way as to make it a reality. Believe first. Create second.
6. Create a plan
Once you believe you can have the life you want, create a plan to make it a reality. Yes, there may be gaps and you don’t need to figure out every little detail, but at least figure out some really good first steps. Something to get you moving towards what you want. For example, if one of the things you want is to live in France (and you live in the US), figure out some first steps that will help get you there. Research how a US citizen can live in France. Visit France. Read French travel memoirs. Whatever works for you. But don’t get too caught up in the how will it all work out. This could stop you before you even give it a chance. Instead allow yourself to live in the unknown (not knowing all the answers, all the hows) and see what unfolds. Most people get caught up at this point – allowing the hows to stop them. Don’t let that be you.
7. Let it go
The final step in creating the life you want is to let it go and to let God (or whatever higher power you believe in) do the heavy lifting. You’re not in this alone. The life you want also wants you to have it. By letting go, you allow the universe to conspire to make your vision a reality. Sometimes if we hang on too tightly to our dreams, we end up strangling them and actually inhibit them becoming a reality. Do all that you can to help create the life you want but there comes a point where you need to let it go and trust that it will all work out.
Laura Kinker is an intuitive life coach, designer, akashic practitioner, writer and photographer who helps people design the lives they want.